Well it's one in the morning and obviously I can't sleep. My meds keep changing, trying to control this rash which seems to have a life of it's own. This new regiment of meds actually just ended and will start back up at four am. These pharmacists need to learn how to read a clock. Not much good getting meds when you can't get healthy rest to let them do their job. I'm so exhausted but my eyes will not close. This is the first night i haven't taken ambien. Poor move on my part. On top of this I moved rooms today. I was all hyped until I realized how loud it is over here. As much as I don't want to, I might just move back tomorrow. I'm really just getting home sick and need to get well so I can get out of here. My wife comes to visit everyday, does my laundry and takes care of me and then goes home alone. I hate that. I miss our quiet evenings together. Or making our ritual flight to whichever restaurant sounded good for breakfast in the morning.
Cancer has really been a huge inconvenience on my life and those around me. I'm done with this disease. I'm not going to be bullied by something I can't see. So I've made a decision. At 1:17am on thurs, sept 22nd I vow to get healthy as quickly as possible. I want to get back to my life. As bored or angry or sad as I ever was at any particular moment in time prior to cancer, I take those days healthy over this. So I choose that.
Thank you to anyone who donated to the light the nights as well as all of you who are walking. It's nice having a united front.
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