Breaking the News

What a fucked up day.  I was pissed off as I woke up this morning because Seymour had thrown some M&M’s at me the day before and I was harboring that anger.  I was supposed to be going to PT for my Achilles, but instead I got a call from Drea at Dr. Mikhaella’s office who said that Dr. Mikhaella wanted to see me today.  That was a bit shocking.  The Dr. got on the phone and gave me some alarming news about my blast counts and how my cancer had gone from chronic to acute.  For those who don’t know the difference, chronic can be treated with oral medications while acute requires chemotherapy followed by a bone marrow transplant.  I think that’s what scares me the most.  I really hope that Sam is a perfect match and that his bone marrow works with my body.  I don’t want to be some fucking vegetable or have all these side effects.  Essentially, I don’t want anyone to even realize that I’ve gone through this treatment or even had this disease. 

So, I now know that this is going to be about a 12 month battle before I am completely treated.  So the main goal I have is to be 100% by Sept 1^st, 2012 if not sooner.  Nothing great comes without struggle. 

I can’t sleep.  Michele is asleep on the couch in my Grand Hyatt room at the hospital.  I have a lot of anxiety and just want this to get started right away so I am one step closer to getting my life back.  And I will get my life back. 

Please look out for me whoever is out there….I can use all the help I can get.