Cabin Fever

Cabin fever is finally setting in after 17 day. It's funny, the other day I felt like The old inmate "Brooks" from the Shawshank Redemption who didn't know how to survive outside of the jail, and in my case this hospital room. But that was a short lived moment. I'm really losing it in here. I find it hard not to get angry at people for doing the slightest things and for those that make a big issue with, I can't help but keep my teeth clenched and my fists held tight. I'll give you a scenario of the latter. I have a note on my door that states everyone MUST wear a mask when entering this room. The slightest germs can really reap havoc on me. I usually tell people, if you have no symptoms, then feel free to remove the mask. Well one of the docs comes in this morning to check in on me and doesn't wear a mask. But I had informed this doc about my protocol a few days prior. Well, while speaking to me, he begins to cough. I get panicked. I hurry up the convo and he leaves. I should have said something at that moment, but instead told my nurse later that day. These types of mistakes will no longer be tolerated.

But I went on a tangent here. It doesn't matter how many people come to visit or how often, i'm still gonna be In this place. And every doctor, all eight of them, yes I said eight, give me eight different fucking answers as to when I might get out of this place. That doesn't give me much confidence. I am so fucking angry and sad and frustrated and I'm pretty close to the point where someone, and it will probably an innocent person, is gonna get unloaded on with a huge amount of negative emotion.

Hopefully I'll feel better tomorrow.